Ok, it's my first day in a foreign country. I've just endured an 8 hour overnight flight in which I maybe slept an hour or two. I've been out walking and walking all morning seeing the sights, emersing myself headlong in the culture. I'm heading back to my hotel room for a nap when a voice behind me says, "Hello sir, where are you from?"

I turn, seeing the curious face of an old man, probably into his 70's. "Hello there, I'm from Australia." His face lights up, "Australia! When did you arrive here?" "Just this morning," I reply. "Ohh, I've never been to Australia, but my daughter, she's going there, she has a job in Melbourne as a nurse. Prince Alfred Hospital!" He says, proudly showing remembering the name. "She doesn't know about Australia. Come, let me buy you a drink, you can tell me about it." I see that we are standing outside McDonalds, he seems harmless enough, besides, I can take a 70 year old easily enough if I need to.

We go in and talk. He tells me of his hometown, his family, proudly telling me of his son's and daughter's accomplishments. Of how his wife is grieving the death of their son a few years previously. I tell him a few things about the hospital system in Australia and about living conditions in Melbourne. His phone rings and it's his daughter, who arrives presently. Not the nurse going to Melbourne, another one, who confirms her Father's story. "Why don't you come meet her? You can talk to her about Melbourne! Prince Alfred Hospital!" The man had told me he worked at a family florist around the corner, and I figure we're going there. Always being one to help out where I can, I agree. Next thing I know, the man's heading to the store and I'm in a taxi with the daughter heading across town to I have no idea where.

I talk with the girl about my experiences of KL so far and she gives me some tips. We arrive at her home 15-20 minutes later and I'm introduced to her Aunt and Uncle. Her Uncle, a 40-ish, enthusiastic man proudly displays his knowledge of Australian casinos. He works on a cruise ship in the VIP suite. Her aunt prepares a lunch for me (even though I'd eaten at the Hard Rock Cafe an hour before) and I try deep-fried pig intestine. I think to myself, "Well, first day here, you've met a lovely Malaysian family, tried some new food, your family and friends will be proud."

I sip Malaysian coffee (23 sugars, but I'm too polite to leave it), I note with increasing alarm that the older sister who I came to talk to has not arrived. "Tomorrow I am inviting you to come visit me at work, I will give you 2 VIP passes, one for you and one for my niece. You can sit at my blackjack table and I can show you how to win. Pay for your holiday. There are no cameras in the VIP room, our clients are sensitive, they will not see." The light has at last dawned. There are now two possibilities, this guy wants me to help him rip off his work or this guy wants to rip me off for his work. Time to plot my escape.

Next I know, I'm being led upstairs into a room, Uncle is going to teach me and Daughter to cheat at blackjack. She sits down next to me, close. I note without any further surprise that the upstairs room is decked out specifically for gambling purposes. Uncle's phone rings, he leaves to talk. Daughter's hands are playing with my hair now, her knee pressed to mine. Uncle informs me that some men who were gambling with him last night plan to return for more, no doubt I will be asked to join with my western dollars. I use my one asset, the dark rings under my eyes. "I have been on a long flight with no sleep and walking around all day. I cannot possibly concentrate on this now. Can I go now and agree to return tomorrow?" "What time?" Suspicious eyes. "10am" "Where?" "The McDonalds where I met your niece." My heart thuds, would I have to run? I had no idea where in KL I was or where to go. I pray for the hundredth time that day. "Ok, you will return tomorrow with Niece and then when you come back to KL next week, I will give you both VIP Pass." A heartful of gratitude to the Lord as I walk out the door and hail a Teksi. Needless to say, no way was I meeting touchy-feely Niece at 10am the next morning.

Wait a minute... she's climbing in too! Oh, she's going to visit her mother at the hospital and gets out a few blocks away, trying to kiss me as she leaves. I see no point in playing her game anymore and pull away, slamming the door shut. "Drive now!"

I met many more Malaysians after this and happily satisfied their curiousity about my country. They aren't bad people, but being an obvious tourist (as any white person in KL is) makes you a target for the dregs of humanity. I couldn't believe that this whole family was in on a scheme that seemed designed very specifically to rip off young Australian men, for that is the conclusion I must draw. I tried to centre it around Uncle, as it surely was, but Niece was in on it with all her flirting, Aunt overheard it all and must know and it was kind, old 67 year old Father who talked to me in the first place.

It seems obvious now what was happening, but I was tired, overwhelmed and trying my hardest to be polite and not offend anyone in a foreign culture. In any case, I thank God I learnt from it and that I survived that day.

Josh!

xoxo